My Thoughts about Work

So, I am on week 3 of going back to work, and so far it's pretty good. The first week, having to work 40 hours during the day was no fun at all. Not only was it boring orientation, but I was leaving my baby for the first time to sit through it all. I've worked a couple of night shifts, which have all gone fine. The first night, I took over on a patient when she had already been pushing for an hour. I had not touched the L&D charting at that point, so I dove in and did all that I could with it being my first hours on the unit. By 10pm, she was transferred to mother/baby and there were no other patients for me, so I spent EIGHT hours learning how to use the charting. Sadly, it takes that long to get a basic grasp of the charting. It's not very good, I'll be honest. It is slow and inefficient and makes you want to pull your hair out, particularly after working with the program we used at UVRMC (count your blessings, ladies, count them!). The next shift I had a lady laboring all night, so I actually got to be a nurse. Because the unit is not as large or as busy, and because I am less than part time, it is going to take longer than I would like to be totally "oriented." Part of me wishes I could just work a whole bunch, get oriented, then go to my one shift a week. Then I realize how much I really don't want to do that. I LOVE being a nurse. I love helping women at a time in their lives when they are so vulnerable yet strong; a time when major changes are occurring in their lives and they are looking to those around them for support and help. I love educating women and empowering them with information and skills. Even more than I love all this, I love my dear sweet little boy. I love the way his face lights up every time I come to get him out of his crib and how he giggles when we make monkey noises. I love how intently he watches me in the bathroom mirror, and how he "kisses" my cheek when I pick him up or hold him close. He is more important than any of the work I do with the women at the hospital. So, I'm seeking for that balance of good things. Right now, one to sometimes two shifts a week is the compromise that we feel good about. I'm still learning to balance priorities and I have a long way to go, but I just needed to remind myself that in the long run, work means nothing and Caden is everything.

P.S. Caden has been amazing through this all. He has finally taken to the bottle, and is totally fine with having lots of daddy/son time with no mom around, or even going to play with friends. My friend watched him yesterday while I had to go to a computer training class, and he was a champ- better than he would have been for me! I am so grateful that he is happy while I'm gone, but happy to see me when I get home!